Just Tell Me!
A frustrated student begged Guishan, "Just tell me!" Guishan replied, "If I told you, later on you would resent me." We are all on a spiritual journey. All of us, whether we know it or not. We are only in trouble when we realize it. Once embarking on the journey, the hounds of heaven nip at the heels, the gnawing need does not go away. There is no where to go but into the mystery. This has meant dark nights alone gazing at stars, sensing the dark within, wondering, praying, hoping.
When I was in my twenties I remember vowing that I would not rest until I "knew." This has led me to search far and wide, to pursue religion, to search out teachers, techniques and states of consciousness. I have longed for spiritual freedom, for meaning, to know that somehow I was a part of it all, whatever it all is. That's the nature of it for me -- I can't rest. I know what this student is about, "JUST TELL ME!" Shouldn't this be easier than it is? Just Tell Me! When his student confronts him with this demand, Guishan is forever kind, "If I told you, later on you would resent me." Each of us walks our own path. If I told you, probably it would not work out, it would just hang you up. We walk our own paths, come to our own awakening, the light shining in our own particular lives. "If I told you later on you would resent me," says that my path is not your path, my frustration is not yours as we make this journey home. BUT, we can do this together, meditate, converse and share.
When something becomes clear we can share what we can -- but it is not that we shouldn't tell, it is that we can't. What is good for this goose doesn't work for that gander, and vice versa. And besides this mystery is bigger than words. How could one say? The most we can do is point out the direction, and support the practice. God/the Universe will take care of the rest.